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Thursday, March 29, 2012

I know, I know...I've been M.I.A. been slackin'!  But no more...I am back and I am focused!
Marlene puttin in WORK!
There's a lot going on in my life... and I am trying to focus on what is important--my family and my happiness!  I am discovering who I am only then will I be able truly be the mom my kids need. It ain't easy but I am working on this and I promise I will keep you posted!!!

Since I've started working out about 2 yrs (?) I have learned a lot and have grown to love fitness!!! I LOVE IT!!! I am so happy to have joined the gym I go to because there, I have met great people.I am not one to really socialize at the gym, BUT I mean if you are there everyday you become familiar with faces and eventually stir up a conversation or two. SO I have been working out with Marlene, who a few months ago "befriended" me when she came up to me and said she really wished she could train like me (whatever that is!) LOL and ever since then we have been workout buddies. I preferred to train alone, until I met Marlene that is, she's no slacker, never saying "oh, I can't do this" and always staying up to pace--She is always up to a challenge just like me! Marlene keeps me motivated and seeing the progress she is making is great!

So...yes I want to be a personal trainer...BUT I've been slackin!!!! I have not devoted myself to studying and just keep procrastinating... I recently spoke to the manager at my gym about possibly joining the team, but YES I need the certification... so why can't I just do IT?!  

I have the passion, but I need to crack em books open!

Monday, January 9, 2012

Rollercoaster Ride

I know it's the new year, and everybody is AMPED up for new beginnings and all that good stuff...but there are somethings that have been dragged from last year or from the year least for me anyway...

I'm having waay too many ups and head is all over and I wish I could just get away...  I need some time to think about what  I want..what I need... I have SOOOO many things on my TO DO LIST... I really don't know where to start!! Everything from training, work, home, financial, to ME...seems like I've been going with the flow...and not really focusing on anything...putting things off...and it's come to a point where I just need to STOP...but how?!  I can't just stay home under the covers like I wish I least for 2 days there's always somebody there...I feel bad that my thoughts are so selfish--that I wish I were ALONE for a change...that I could do whatever I wanted...whenever I wanted...
It's been an emotional ride for the past few months...I go from feeling on top of the world to wanting to crawl under a rock... Those close to me notice my distance...I'm there, I get things done...but not really, I space out...
I've been lacking motivation even at the gym-- my husband has pointed out that he doesn't understand, I workout 5-6 days a week yet there haven't been changes lately...and so I question myself...what am I doing, why do I push myself for?  UGH!
I find that the only time I feel really good nowadays is when I put on my earphones and focus on my workout...when I am at the gym... I don't need to think about the things I wish were different at work, etc. for that 1-2 hour... I escape...and then BOOM...back to reality again... and my head spins off...

Can you relate? How do you deal?????
Yes Chicas, it's just one of those days...

PS. I still kicked ass with my cardio today!