Rollercoaster Ride

I know it's the new year, and everybody is AMPED up for new beginnings and all that good stuff...but there are somethings that have been dragged from last year or from the year before...at least for me anyway...

I'm having waay too many ups and downs..my head is all over and I wish I could just get away...  I need some time to reflect...to think about what  I want..what I need... I have SOOOO many things on my TO DO LIST... I really don't know where to start!! Everything from training, work, home, financial, to ME...seems like I've been going with the flow...and not really focusing on anything...putting things off...and it's come to a point where I just need to STOP...but how?!  I can't just stay home under the covers like I wish I could...at least for 2 days there's always somebody there...I feel bad that my thoughts are so selfish--that I wish I were ALONE for a change...that I could do whatever I wanted...whenever I wanted...

It's been an emotional ride for the past few months...I go from feeling on top of the world to wanting to crawl under a rock... Those close to me notice my distance...I'm there, I get things done...but not really, I space out...

I've been lacking motivation even at the gym-- my husband has pointed out that he doesn't understand, I workout 5-6 days a week yet there haven't been changes lately...and so I question myself...what am I doing, why do I push myself for?  UGH!
I find that the only time I feel really good nowadays is when I put on my earphones and focus on my workout...when I am at the gym... I don't need to think about the things I wish were different at home...at work, etc. for that 1-2 hour... I escape...and then BOOM...back to reality again... and my head spins off...

Can you relate? How do you deal?????
 

Yes Chicas, it's just one of those days...

PS. I still kicked ass with my cardio today!